Tuesday, February 15, 2005

It should be in the Onion

I've been following the Gannongate thing. It's amazing.

Imagine a government that not only pays off pundits to push its own programs, but sticks a few "plants" into press conferences, make absolutely sure that there's no problem staying on message. Imagine that the president is told before a conference that "the bald guy would lob him an easy one."

Imagine that this "plant" was worked for a no-revenue news source, newly created a few days before he applied for a press pass - a news source that was an arm of something called GOPUSA. Imagine that his prior journalistic credentials were attending a single $50 seminar.

Imagine that he operated under an assumed name and had access to not only the president - that rarest of things for a reporter - but also to secret CIA documents. Documents that were leaked to reveal the identity of Undercover CIA Operative Valerie Plame in what Bush 41 called "an act of treason".

Imagine that this plant, given access to secret documents and Bush's press room, a man whose questions are reported in every major newssite in press-conference transcripts, a man who so ardently supports the anti-gay-marriage family-values morality-pushing Red government, also worked literally as a prostitute, a gay prostitute, no less. I do not recommend you follow this link at work, or in front of the kids - they've photoshopped out the full frontal nudity, but it's still pretty raw stuff.

Imagine finally that this plant/"Dominant Top"/gay hooker/"journalist"/Scott McClellan lifeline has written a whole web site to "define himself". It's gone now but there is a cached version of the conservativeguy.com. Some highlights:

- he owns a Baretta 9mm and a Japanese SUV (see the pictures?)

- his mission is, among other things, to "help people to allow their conservative values to govern their actions"

And the punch line:

- his "soon to be published book" is titled "The Hypocrisy Of Liberalism"

LOL! Honestly, this whole thing could be in the Onion.